Hate
by gummy.Rhino
Summary: Ch. 1 of 'Alone' in Kid's mom's point of view.


**Here's chapter one of "Alone" but in Kid's mom's point of view.**

**-**

I glared at the picture of the Shinigami I loved, but hated. He was so different now. When I had first met him, he had been the stereotypical death god.

Oh, how much he had changed. He was no longer the Death I knew and loved. All those years, I had tried so hard to change him; to make him happy. But in the end, it was those stupid little children that he loved most, that he changed for. He ignored me and spent all his time at that school with those things he loved so much. And then I was pregnant with one of them. I couldn't bare it, it was one more child he would love more than me. I had decided to run, not only to keep the child away from him, but so he would miss me. Maybe if he saw what life was like without me he would come to his senses, would love me again. But that didn't happen; he didn't miss me. He simply went on with life, living with those damn children that made him so happy.

I hate it. I hate that child. I hate Shinigami. And I hate that I also love them both. How could I possibly _hate_ someone so much that I want to cause them agony, but love them just enough to not be able to kill them? I had tried once. The moment after I had the thing come out of me, I tried to drown it. But I couldn't. And I don't why. But I also couldn't go back to Shinigami. He didn't love me and I couldn't take being in his presence and not being loved. And I also refused to let him have his son. It would probably make him happy, and I couldn't stand to see his happiness if I hadn't caused it.

So then why am I still in Death City? I told myself I didn't want to be near him, so why am I still in the same city? Why do I torture myself like this? I don't even know. Maybe I'm hoping that someday he'll find me if I'm so close. And then he'll tell me he missed me and he loves me and he cares nothing for those things compared to how much he cares about me.

I put my thoughts on hold, not wanting to think about those things anymore, and turned the page of the newspaper. There was a picture of his face. It was as if it was mocking me. I slammed my knife into the table, wishing for a moment that it was Shinigami.

"Why is the newspaper always full of that damn Shinigami?" I smashed the paper into a little ball and threw it in the trash can. "It's always _Shinigami this _and _Shinigami that_. He's not the only Shinigami; I'm here too." I smiled. "And so is his son, but I guess Shinigami remains to be unaware of that little detail." I laughed.

"A-ano, Okaa-san?"

"What do you want?" I glared at the thing.

"Well, I was just wondering, if maybe, maybe, I could go, um, to school?"

..._What_? He wanted to go to school? What makes him think that he deserves to go to school after all he's taken from me? I laughed. "_You_? Go to _school_? Do you know what they'd say if someone like you went to school?" I got up and started walking towards the thing. "They'd call you a _freak_, because that's exactly what you are. They would all _hate _you because no one could ever like a thing like you." I wish. But in reality, it was me they would hate. Shinigami would _love_ him. Just the thought of this made me incredibly angry. I rushed forward and grabbed it's arm, then I slapped some sense into the thing. I shoved it down and kicked the thing. That's what it deserves. It deserves to be hated. It's _me _who deserves to beloved. Shinigami was _mine_. Those awful children snatched him away!

"I'm sorry."

"Oh you're _sorry_? Well sorry doesn't cut it. You know what they'd do if they saw something as disgusting as yourself?" They'd _love_ you. Which is just not fair. Why don't I get to be loved? I ran back to the table and grabbed the knife. Then I grabbed the thing and shoved the knife into it's arm, satisfied with the pain on it's face as the blood ran down it's arm. That's what it deserved, not love. "Get out of sight!" I yelled at it. I didn't want to see the thing anymore, not all for at least the rest of the night. "Ugh." I said out loud. "I need to make sure that thing doesn't bother me and stays in its room so I can enjoy the rest of my evening."

I went into the room that it stayed in. "Wipe that stupid look off your face. You're pathetic." I told it when it looked at me with scared eyes. Then I yanked it up and dragged it over to the radiator. I used the handcuffs, which were alreaady there, to handcuff it to the radiator. Then I left the room to try and enjoy the rest of the night.

**-**

**Well, hope that answered your questions.**


End file.
